"I didn't know you could make this!" is usually the reaction I get when one of my girls walks into school on the first day and the teacher, a parent, the bus driver sees for the first time, one of the hair pieces I've made to match one of their outfits.
There will be a couple of morals to this story, I promise, so just bare with me, and if you have nothing else going on, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (it's always five O'Clock somewhere, right?) and keep on reading.
Those hair pieces were the extent of my creativity. I was too busy with other things to take orders, or to really make a go at the things I could create and sell, if only I'd had the time....if only....
About fifteen years ago (before I'd ever had any children), I was flipping through the reader ads of my local Pennysaver and came across an ad for in-home astrology readings. At the time, I made things on an almost daily basis, from bath salts to oil paintings, and either sold them on weekends at craft fairs or gave them as gifts to friends.
I thought, "Wouldn't it be kinda cool to get a reading?" So I did. His name was Richard. What he told me had a profound and lasting effect, and I credit him to this day for the triumph over some very difficult hurdles I've faced in the years since. He has since gone on to publish some really great and insightful articles in newspapers and magazines, as well as weekly and monthly horiscopes in others and continues to do his readings for clients.
But one thing he told me was that my sign (Sagittarius) was a creative one. (I knew that already). But because of where all of my houses were and where the sun rose and set on my chart and all of that other really cool stuff I find fascinating but still don't understand, he made it a point to say that I needed to keep creating, and if I didn't I'd be like a wilting flower. Creativity was my strongest asset, and opened alot of doors for me that I think may other wise have remained closed. It was like the life force to the very core of my being, like water to a fish, like air to breathe. I got what he was saying, but sometimes, life happens.....
I had children, two, sometimes three jobs to hold down to pay the bills and put food on the table. I became a single parent. The only time I found myself creating anything, was maybe a Halloween costume or a few Easter baskets. I'd moved 6 times in a matter of 5 years. Car payments, rent, insurance...... you know the story. I'd even started and ran a very successful house cleaning business, but benieth the success and the monetary gain and even noteriety that came with it, I was completely unfulfilled, both personally and spiritually, and I couldn't understad why.
Friends and family told me I was doing too much, to slow down, relax, take a breather, to do more things I enjoyed, rather than things I felt I had to do. But I continued doing what I knew best: work, work, work, go, go, go.
And then one morning, I woke up, and couldn't move. Literally. The pain in my body was unbearable. Every joint throbbed and cracked when I tried to get up. I couldn't even drive the children into school. Something was very, very wrong here.
Convinced I had Lymes Disease, and after some rest and medication the worst of the symptoms would begin to fade and I could get back to the hectic life I'd built, I waited in the emergency room for several hours when the doctor finally came in and informed me that the test they'd run for lymes had come back negative. Negative? Really?
After informing me to follow up with my family physician and have additional tests conducted, the diagnosis I left with that day was Fibromyalgia.
Upon meeting with my regular doctor who confirmed this, I asked him, "Am I going to have this for the rest of my life?" He said, "Yes". He also informed me that I may want to make "adjustments" to my lifestyle. When I asked him what type of adjustments, and what exactly was Fibromyalgia, he old me to Google it, because the site could tell me more about it than he could (and exactly how many years do these people go to school for their MD's??)
I did exactly that. And I really didn't like the results or the information I found on treatment, because there really isn't any. Now, not only did I have to cope with having this disease doctors knew so little about, but I also had to cope with how to re-adjust my life because of it. I'd have to learn to get used to taking things slower. I'd have to learn to wake up some mornings, and not be able to walk or move, or plan to start getting myself ready for the day several hours earlier to give my body time to adjust and maybe become limber again after moving around for a while.
I did the only thing I could do (after having a melt-down, of course) when I finally took a step back, looked at the entire situation at what it really was; the please of my friends and family, the unfulfillment I'd felt, the lack of time I had with my children (who grow faster than you can blink an eye), and now, the please of my own body: I sold the business and began painting wine glasses. I was happy with this.
Then a friend suggested I list my items on Etsy. I went to the site, fell in love with it, and here, the rest is history. An Etsy shop, a Facebook Page and now a blog later, I've been selling my items, taking requests and filling custom orders. After the trials and night upon sleepless night of soul searching, (hence, the name) Art & Soul Studio was born.
I feel like I've been born again, and I'm greatul for the cards I was dealt with the disease. It's made me stop to smell the roses again, to pick up a camera and photograph the beauty around me; it's allowed my imagination to run wild and go back to what came most naturally to me all along: being creative. It's allowed me lots and lots more time for more hugs, cuddles, giggles and laughter.
So here are the morals I promised somewhere waaay in the beginning of this story..... life will happen, often times in ways we don;t expect. But don;t let it derail you from what you love.
It's OK to be the responsible, bread-winning one, the successful one, but none of that is worth it if you cannot share it with the people who matter most to you; whether it be by your generosity, by more of your time and attention or more of your love. Paying close attention to what your soul is whispering to you quietly inside is what I believe to be the key to true happiness: by putting the breaks on life for even just a moment, taking a look around you and inventorying the gifts that are freely given: the beauty in nature, the love of your family and friends, and in recognising the blessings that come from each day, no matter how small. Staying true to yourself in the face of anything is what will get you through everything!
Just keep creating, appreciating and believing........
